Pillow Thoughts
by rapturesrevenge
Summary: -RockRevy- An eventful evening leads to some introspection...not that Revy would ever admit to such things. Rated for content and language.
1. Chapter 1

**Pillow Thoughts**

Roanapur was strangely quiet, the balmy summer air unbroken by gunfire for the first time in recent memory. Silence like this made her uneasy when they weren't out on the water. One never knew what sorts of monsters lurked about on nights like these.

Revy didn't reach for her guns, though. Despite being on edge, she was too busy watching him sleep. Rock's expressions were becoming colder and colder. His demeanor had changed significantly since he'd joined them, but that all fell away at night, when he would return to the innocent, naive boy he once was. He was one of the walking dead by day, the exact opposite by night. Any normal person would be appalled by these changes. They would be terrified. Hell, they might even pity the poor bastard.

Not Revy. She pitied no one. She felt sympathy for no one.

At least, that's what she told herself.

She'd never expected to feel this way about anyone. Then again, no one was ever as brave, stupid, or blind (Rock called it "accepting") as he was. No one else ever stuck around. Everyone else saw her, beat the shit out of her, fucked her, left her. That, or she didn't give them a chance to stick around. Most men, soon as it was over, they ran for their lives, or at least for the sake of keeping their balls where they were. It was a miracle – if those things actually existed – that she'd never caught anything or gotten pregnant. At least she didn't have to worry about getting pregnant anymore.

Anyway, that's the way things had always been. Even after her reputation had been established, that's just how men – and even some women – treated her.

Then Rock came along. And after one night three weeks ago, when Dutch played cheapskate and put them in the same room at a hotel, her eyes slowly began to open. He was careful and gentle the majority of the time, rough and demanding the rest. He was mindful of her needs as much as his own. While he wasn't as big as the asshole who raped her when she was a kid, he was pretty gifted and wound up being the best fuck she'd ever had. She knew how he felt about her beforehand, didn't give a damn, and did it anyway. That he could still feel that way after all he'd seen and been through was amazing. She wanted no part of it.

Revy didn't believe in love.

He went and confessed anyway, then challenged her when she laughed and called him a stupid, masochistic idiot. She pointed her gun at him, pressing the muzzle forcefully against his temple. She could've pulled the trigger. He'd clearly resigned himself to the fact that he might die right then and there. He was just so calm about it. She could've pulled the trigger. She _should've_ pulled the _God-damned_ trigger.

In the end, Revy couldn't pull the fucking trigger. She _wouldn't_ pull the motherfucking trigger.

Rock was an insightful bastard. He knew it bothered her. Even though he said he wasn't going to apologize, he offered to sleep alone to give her the space he felt she needed. She could've gone to her room and laid awake for hours before falling asleep. She _should've_ gone to her room. Yet here she was, not even an hour after putting her gun down, cuddled up against his side. He'd been sleepy to begin with and had passed out as soon as the drama was over. He would wake up long before she would. Insomnia affected everyone in different ways. She laid around for hours, trying to fall asleep, he would pass out as soon as his head hit the pillow and wake up about four or five hours later.

Sometimes she wondered about him. Why, even though he abhorred violence and couldn't stand to hold a gun, he stuck around. And why the fuck didn't he want to hold a gun anyway? It just didn't make sense. And as for things not making sense, what did he see in her besides her physical attributes? She was the crazy bitch screaming at him and threatening to kill him all the time. There was no chance of her getting pregnant, so if he wanted kids, he was very shit outta luck. He wasn't simply in this for the sex, that much was obvious, so what was it? _Why her?_ And why the hell did he enjoy pushing her buttons the way he did?

Watching him sleep, she wondered if she would ever get the answers out of him. Behind that honest, sincere face was a convoluted bevy of secrets he was so reluctant to divulge. One thing about Rock...as much of an open book as he was, he was full of cryptic and hidden meanings, like a secret code no one could crack. He was too good at evading questions or keeping his mouth shut.

Maybe, Revy snorted, maybe that's what she thought was so intriguing about that boy even if it did piss her off. He kept her entertained that way. And just as he was getting her to crack, she was determined to make him crack.

Despite the urge to wake him up and pester him with questions, she let him sleep. There was just something about the way he slept that intrigued her as well. He just looked so at ease when he slept, even though he was learning to wake up out of a dead sleep when the situation called for it. What's more, he slept as soundly next to her as he did by himself, if not more so.

As for Revy herself, she too was sleeping better. She hated to admit it, even to herself, but it was comforting to lay next to him every night. And it just plain felt weird to sleep alone anymore. The thought of sleeping alone now was unthinkable. Revy liked to think she was above fearing things, but if she wanted to be honest with herself, she knew it scared her, just as much as the thought of actually _needing_ someone. Especially the thought of needing Rock, of all people.

But, she wondered, brushing a stray lock of hair out of his face, would it really be that bad? He treated her differently, he tended to her injuries, he let her use him (though that, she noticed, was becoming more infrequent). It wasn't just about the sex with him, something that initially confused the hell out of her because he was a _guy_, and all guys think about is sex and fuckin' broads like her. But he wasn't like that. He did everything because he cared. Why he cared about her was and probably always would be a god damn mystery. Hell, even after thinking about it for over an hour already, she _still_ didn't understand why the fuck he loved her! There was nothing to love about her! Evidently love really is blind, or Rock's more of an idiot than she originally thought.

Rock rolled over in his sleep, his arm falling over her haphazardly. Despite herself and her initial mood and misgivings, Revy smiled a little. It was a tiny, genuine smile, not one of her characteristic dull or maniacal grins or smirks. She leaned toward him – _her partner_ – and gently kissed him. Her actions were rewarded with a minute response, but it was nothing like the responses he'd given before when they were alone. It didn't bother her. And when she pulled back, she still wore that tiny smile. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all. It _could _turn sour, it _could _end badly if their enemies (particularly hers) found out about them, but it was worth a chance. She had no expectations anyway, so maybe she'd be in for a surprise or two.

Finally, she felt the tug of sleep. Resting her head on Rock's arm, with her face pressed against his chest, Revy closed her eyes and soon fell asleep.

* * *

**13 September 2010**

Gah, finally. I've been working on this since my girlfriend, Regent Shaw, and I got into _Black Lagoon_ around Christmastime last year. I'd been in a rut with it til a couple days ago, when I was sitting around with nothing to do (I have mono, and found the end of the internet rather quickly). Now it's finished, and I don't have to worry about it. Now to go work on other fics. I hope you like it!**  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**rapture has moved!**

Dear Readers,

In light of the recent vigilante movement here on , I have decided to relocate. These vigilantes seek to report and delete poorly-written stories and stories with questionable (mature) content. As some of my stories do contain explicit content, I would rather relocate than risk my stories being deleted by some pro-censorship fascist pig, or risk being banned.

You can now find me at archiveofourown [dot] org [slash] users [slash] rapturesrevenge. Everything, from story updates to new fics, will be posted here.

Archive of Our Own (AO3) is currently in beta. As of now, the only way to join is via invite. I signed up for an invite in October and received my invitation to join the site in December. So far, I really like the site. Should you choose to sign up for an invite, I hope you will like it, too.

This story, whether it is a oneshot or part of a multi-chapter fic, will remain here, untouched. Should the vigilante movement be found pointless and brought to an end, I might consider returning. Until then, I bed you all farewell, and I hope to see you again at AO3.

Yours,

rapture


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